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Giving Birth: A Unique Experience For Every Mother

I was over-joyed when I first learned I was expecting my first baby. It wasn't until sometime in the second trimester, when I finally started to show, that I really realized I was going to be giving birth--somehow and sometime--and only months away. I was scared. I knew that pushing our baby out was going to be the hardest physical challenge of my life so far. I decided to do what I do best when I start to worry: research. One of the best ways to learn about things like pregnancy, parenting and childbirth is to talk to other moms. I started to pick the brains of my friends who had children. I asked them to tell me their stories, starting with how they first knew they were in labor, how long it lasted, whether or not they got pain medication and if they would change anything if they could go back and do it again. Many friends that I talked to had very strong opinions on things like natural childbirth with no pain medication or c-sections. I even had one friend who told me she was sure her sister could have "pushed her baby out if she had only tried harder." She didn't approve of the fact that her sister ended up with a cesarean since she had given birth to her own son vaginally, at home and with no meds. I have to admit, I was surprised to hear this. Why would moms feel the need to judge each other about an experience that is unique to each of us? I also did a lot of research online. I read blogs by new moms, I learned about the risks and benefits of different interventions during the birth process and I found out how a spinal is different from an epidural. I also did a lot of reading about contractions and how to tell real labor contractions from Braxton-Hicks contractions. How would I know I was really in labor if my water didn't break? I worried that I'd be in labor without knowing and end up having the baby on the kitchen floor. Ha! I later found out that my own real labor contractions were unmistakable. I also bought lots of books on pregnancy and read them all. I even read them to my husband, who politely pretended to listen. And as I gathered more and more information about giving birth, I began to write my own birth plan. The first decision that I made was whether I wanted to give birth at home or in a hospital. That was easy: I wanted to give birth in a hospital. I had read many touching stories about home-birth experiences but I didn't feel that would be a good option for a Nervous Nelly like myself. I also opted out of things like hypno-birthing and water birth, though I had learned breathing techniques at my child-birth class and planned to do some of my laboring in the jacuzzi tub in the labor and delivery room at the hospital. In the end, the birth process did not go as I had hoped. I had a long and excruciating back labor, went for the epidural and ended up with a cesarean. But you know what? It was still childbirth--maybe it didn't look or sound like a perfect story or fit many other people's ideals of a what giving birth should look like--but it ended with a beautiful, healthy baby girl being put into my arms.  
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502 comments

  • The birth of my daughter didn’t end up anything like we had planned and prepared for either. For awhile I wasn’t sure if I would like to have another baby or not because of it. But as time passes I’m warming up to the idea. Yes, the end result is a beautiful, sweet baby but it is still disappointing to some degree.

    Sharon Doyle on
  • I went into labor winging it. No plan, no preferences, just let thing happen as they would happen. My birth experience was wonderful because there was nothing to “go wrong”. There was a scary time after our son was born, but everything was ok in the end. We have a healthy happy little boy and I would definitely do it again! ( and maybe a third time)

    Stacey Day on
  • I love this article – no two births will ever be the same, even for the same woman, but all of us who are pregnant will give birth in some way! I do think that it is important to research and understand the varying “normal” of birth, so as not to be surprised too badly along the way and to help you to know if something is really wrong!

    Heather S on
  • Thanks for posting. I had a home birth myself, but I would never try to talk anyone else into it. It’s such a personal decision! Research is crucial, as well as understanding that your birth might not go as planned! Much love to all the pregnant ladies!

    Rebekah Coulter on
  • Love this post. I’m sorry all did not go as planned for your first …I too did all the research leading up to the birth of my son, including my husband who also poltely pretended to listen to me every night! haha
    My midwife told me (as I’m sure you know first hand) nothing ever goes exactly as planned. I was lucky enough to have almost a “prefect” birth story. Almost everything went as planned – I had wanted a med-free, water birth in the hospital, but they dont “allow” midwives to perform water births in my state … horrible I know!
    Felxibility is key to any HAPPY birth story, whether all goes as planned or not … its the end result that makes it all worth while … medicated or non, vaginal or c-section, home or hospital, water or bed … to each her own, comfort is a priority! No one should ever feel guilty as to how their child came into this world … they’re / will be here and thats all that really matters in the end!

    It’s great to see so many other women out there who agree!

    Heather on

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