As I mentioned in my post last week
, we're expecting our second little one this November and we're all super excited. Yup, even our son! As a second-timer, I can't help but think about those popular commercials, memes and articles touting the (seemingly ridiculous) differences between first-time parenting "novices" and been-there-done-that "experts." I don't necessarily buy into the idea; some are naturals from the start, some have a challenging child the second/third/fourth time around -- different strokes for different folks.
It has been clear, though, how different the pregnancy side of things can be this second time around. Today, I'm sharing some of my observations harboring a baby bump this time. Let's see if any of you practiced mamas out there agree!
- It feels like it's going faster.
A lot faster. It could be because life has just picked up speed since having a little guy, anyway, but I can't believe we're already at 21 (almost 22) weeks. Holy crow. - Slightly less attention (from strangers, co-workers, etc).
Some people hate this and some people love it; I happen to be totally cool with it. I happen to have a co-worker due the exact same day with her first and there's definitely more chattiness, questions, and advice flying her way. I appreciated the initial excitement when we made the announcement, but am enjoying the privacy we're getting this time, including the lack of personal questions. - We already have most of the stuff we need!
Be it maternity clothes, baby gear, or newborn clothing, we're pretty much set. We're going to round out our diaper stash, get a new car seat and buy some more wintry clothing items (hello, November in Upstate NY!), but everything else? Done! Even if we have a girl this time around, all of our 0-6 month clothing is gender neutral, and I have a sister with tons of girly clothes to share. It definitely takes a load off knowing you're all set. - No need for a shower.
Some people have a shower for every child, and that's awesome. However, it's not for me. We had a bit of a disaster baby shower the first time around, so even though we're SUPER appreciative for all the gifts and support, it's a relief not to have to relive the day. Plus, since I'm horrible at being the center of attention (says a community theater geek), this totally works for me. It doesn't mean the little bundle of joy will be any less loved. - There's definitely less worrying.
"What was that cramp? Is it something to call the doctor about?" "What things do I really NEED on my shower registry?" "When are we going to finally finish the nursery?" Yeah, no. So far, any possible medical concern is something I felt the first time around, so I can pretty much chill about it. I also know what worked (and didn't) for our son, so I'm aware that we can try those methods again, then adjust or buy a product if we need it rather than buying ALL THE THINGS now. Also, since we're house hunting, we're making plans for if we're in this house (yup, a shared room, ack!) but also hoping for the best as far as a new home. I guess this part is all based on a big lesson from parenting the first time around: worrying doesn't help and flexibility reigns supreme
- No classes to take and generally there's less prep. It might have only been for six weeks, but our weekly birthing/parenting classes provided by our hospital (plus all the driving) was helpful, but a bit of a pain. It's a relief not to have to do it all again! Ditto that when it comes to all the additional reading-up we did. Sure, we'll probably be refreshing our brains when the time draws near, but we know which book(s) we trust and can skim the chapters we need. Way simpler.
I'm sure I'm probably missing one or two (or ten) here, but these are the differences in my case. I know a lot of moms get more lax about their prenatal diets, belly pictures, and keeping up on what fruit their nugget most closely resembles, but I'm pretty similar on all of these fronts. (I only had a couple of belly pics, and look to be on-par with this baby. ;-)) But, what about you? What would you add to the list? (Or subtract?) I know a lot of people have a second shower or learn their baby's gender (so might have to buy a bunch of gender-specific clothes or nursery stuff). Or there are those who have a high-risk pregnancy the second (or third or fourth) time around, so are dealing with far more worries than the average pregnancy.