I was over-joyed when I first learned I was expecting my first baby. It wasn't until sometime in the second trimester, when I 
finally started to show, that I really realized I was going to be giving birth--somehow and sometime--and only months away. I was scared. I knew that pushing our baby out was going to be the hardest physical challenge of my life so far. I decided to do what I do best when I start to worry: research.
One of the best ways to learn about things like pregnancy, parenting and childbirth is to talk to other moms. I started to pick the brains of my friends who had children. I asked them to tell me their stories, starting with how they first knew they were in labor, how long it lasted, whether or not they got pain medication and if they would change anything if they could go back and do it again. Many friends that I talked to had very strong opinions on things like natural childbirth with no pain medication or c-sections. I even had one friend who told me she was sure her sister could have "pushed her baby out if she had only tried harder." She didn't approve of the fact that her sister ended up with a cesarean since she had given birth to her own son vaginally, at home and with no meds. I have to admit, I was surprised to hear this. Why would moms feel the need to judge each other about an experience that is unique to each of us?
I also did a lot of research online. I read blogs by new moms, I learned about the risks and benefits of different interventions during the birth process and I found out how a spinal is different from an epidural. I also did a lot of reading about contractions and how to tell real labor contractions from Braxton-Hicks contractions. How would I know I was really in labor if my water didn't break? I worried that I'd be in labor without knowing and end up having the baby on the kitchen floor. Ha! I later found out that my own real labor contractions were unmistakable.
I also bought lots of books on pregnancy and read them all. I even read them to my husband, who politely pretended to listen. And as I gathered more and more information about giving birth, I began to write my own birth plan. The first decision that I made was whether I wanted to give birth at home or in a hospital. That was easy: I wanted to give birth in a hospital. I had read many touching stories about home-birth experiences but I didn't feel that would be a good option for a Nervous Nelly like myself. I also opted out of things like hypno-birthing and water birth, though I had learned breathing techniques at my child-birth class and planned to do some of my laboring in the jacuzzi tub in the labor and delivery room at the hospital.
In the end, the birth process did not go as I had hoped. I had a long and excruciating back labor, went for the epidural and ended up with a cesarean. But you know what? It was still childbirth--maybe it didn't look or sound like a perfect story or fit many other people's ideals of a what giving birth should look like--but it ended with a beautiful, healthy baby girl being put into my arms.
finally started to show, that I really realized I was going to be giving birth--somehow and sometime--and only months away. I was scared. I knew that pushing our baby out was going to be the hardest physical challenge of my life so far. I decided to do what I do best when I start to worry: research.
One of the best ways to learn about things like pregnancy, parenting and childbirth is to talk to other moms. I started to pick the brains of my friends who had children. I asked them to tell me their stories, starting with how they first knew they were in labor, how long it lasted, whether or not they got pain medication and if they would change anything if they could go back and do it again. Many friends that I talked to had very strong opinions on things like natural childbirth with no pain medication or c-sections. I even had one friend who told me she was sure her sister could have "pushed her baby out if she had only tried harder." She didn't approve of the fact that her sister ended up with a cesarean since she had given birth to her own son vaginally, at home and with no meds. I have to admit, I was surprised to hear this. Why would moms feel the need to judge each other about an experience that is unique to each of us?
I also did a lot of research online. I read blogs by new moms, I learned about the risks and benefits of different interventions during the birth process and I found out how a spinal is different from an epidural. I also did a lot of reading about contractions and how to tell real labor contractions from Braxton-Hicks contractions. How would I know I was really in labor if my water didn't break? I worried that I'd be in labor without knowing and end up having the baby on the kitchen floor. Ha! I later found out that my own real labor contractions were unmistakable.
I also bought lots of books on pregnancy and read them all. I even read them to my husband, who politely pretended to listen. And as I gathered more and more information about giving birth, I began to write my own birth plan. The first decision that I made was whether I wanted to give birth at home or in a hospital. That was easy: I wanted to give birth in a hospital. I had read many touching stories about home-birth experiences but I didn't feel that would be a good option for a Nervous Nelly like myself. I also opted out of things like hypno-birthing and water birth, though I had learned breathing techniques at my child-birth class and planned to do some of my laboring in the jacuzzi tub in the labor and delivery room at the hospital.
In the end, the birth process did not go as I had hoped. I had a long and excruciating back labor, went for the epidural and ended up with a cesarean. But you know what? It was still childbirth--maybe it didn't look or sound like a perfect story or fit many other people's ideals of a what giving birth should look like--but it ended with a beautiful, healthy baby girl being put into my arms.
Everyone’s birth experience is so different and, even if it ends up going as you PLANNED, I think it never goes quite how you EXPECTED — and really… that’s what makes it unique. :) I had 2 births and neither went as planned, but I cherish both.
My son is just now 9 weeks and my birth didn’t go as planned either…, but it was so much better than I planned… I had hoped for natural, but got an epi at 9cm. I was at a 4 for one whole month!!! I went from a 4 to a 9 in 2 1/2 hours, then it was epi time!! lol. It made pushing and delivery SOOOO much better. I don’t know if I’ll do it the same next time, but I was truly blessed with a wonderful birth and absolutely perfect baby boy. He has my heart. :-)
I have to say, and I know there are people who will disagree (and agree) with me. But I think a lot of pain and complication during birth is due to the strong fear that is instilled in us from television, media and doctors. The documentary The Business of Being Born is a great window into the the world of birth and how in the last century medical doctors have taken a completely natural and empowering part of womanhood and turned it into a medical procedure. There is not systematic schedule for a woman in labor, but when you are giving birth in a hospital they have one set schedule and if your body doesn’t follow it the make your body follow it. Every woman labors differently, and women have been giving birth since the beginning of man! I know from experience of giving birth to my daughter that I could never decide how fast or slow a woman should deliver her baby. Or which position was more beneficial or comfortable for her. And I am thankful that I allowed myself the space to move and and figure it out for me. With guidance of course from my midwifes and doula friends who all have delivered and birthed many babies at home. Yes, birth is painful, but your body was designed and equipped with all the means to handle and experience it. We are women! We give birth! Its what our bodies are designed to do! Empower yourself and really visualize you having your baby without any complications, let go of the fear you have acquired from watching fake hollywood horror stories in movies. Believe in your birth plan and it will become real. I say this with full awareness of pregnancy complications, such as breech babies and real emergencies that need medical intervention. But the truth is that a healthy pregnancy and woman should be allowed to labor and birth on her schedule, listening to her body and baby with guidance from people who are nurturing her own abilities to do it. Do not be put in a time frame that a hospital has designed with pitocin drips to speed up your contractions and telling you that you aren’t capable to push your baby out because it is taking a little longer than they’d like. Most c-sections are prescribed by doctors because they are own their schedule and they don’t have to wait around for a woman to do her thing. And, they make way more money on them…
Thanks for sharing :)
Great post!
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